What do you do when you find that right person you have been looking for except that he/she can’t be around as much as you’d wish for? Anything but give up. Problems in a long distance relationship are something every mariner would know about and will have to deal with throughout his or her career.
One of the very few downsides of being in merchant navy would be to stay away from loved ones for long intervals. It is definitely hard and more often than not brings people to crossroads where managing a career with long distance relationship in other hand becomes really difficult.
But the good news for all those trying to make a long distance relationship work is that the hope is not lost yet. Here is something about long distance relationship advice that could do you a lot of good.
1. Be honest – Transparency is the Key
If you are in a new long distance relationship, you better tell the other person about all the complications of being in merchant navy. This could save you lots of misunderstandings and a broken heart later.
2. Contact through snail mail – Old is Gold
One of the most prominent problems in a long distance relationship is of lack of communication especially if you are in merchant navy. The travel for most seafarers takes them to different parts of the world, often with limited telephone coverage or internet access. In such cases, go back a step and give your old snail mail a try.
This conventional way of communicating allows you to stay in touch even while away without any technology to help you out. And to be frank, it does make it a little more exciting with the handwritten letters and cards that smell like your spouse’s favorite perfume.
3. Be understanding – Nothing works better than understanding your partner
This is probably the most crucial long distance relationship advice. To make a long distance relationship work, you need to understand that your partner may not always be able to contact you because of the very nature of their job which they do because they love it and also because they have to.
Being in merchant navy means there could be times your partner can’t contact you enough even by standards of a long distance relationship. However, it is important that you understand that this makes it that much harder for your partner to be away from people they love and not be able to do anything about it. Your understanding is their only support.
4. Keep a diary – Note down What he or she likes or dislikes
This way, you can record lots of little things that make up your life in absence of your partner. That way, your partner can come back and take a sneak peek at any of those many days they missed with you. Every single page of such a diary with your feelings on it would make it like there had been no absence ever.
Also, if you are not a diary person, you can even write down all the important things about your partner which would help you in several occasions such as choosing gifts, wishing for an important occasion etc.
5. Company provisions for spouses – Make Use of the Benefits
Merchant navy and relationships aren’t really meant to gel together but this does not mean they absolutely can’t. Many companies understand the need for seafarers to stay close to their loved ones for as much time as they can snatch away from their hectic work.
There is a provision allowing spouses to stay onboard for a brief period of time. Sure this is not a permanent solution to any of your problems in a long distance relationship but it’s definitely a temporary respite. Make sure you take benefit of this provision whenever you can.
6. Work out a schedule –Plan, Plan, and More Plan
A more practical way to deal with distance in a relationship would be to work out a schedule. Set a schedule that suits both persons so that you can plan other things around it, not hampering with your work.
Of course there could be times when minor interruptions come in this schedule but that are where you refer to point number three again.In any case, work out a schedule so that you can plan a vacation when you are back together on land.
7. Get involved with other things – Don’t get Stuck
One thing that many people get confused with is that a career with a long distance relationship does not mean you shouldn’t have a life. You need to remember that there is more to life than being torn between work and wait for your partner’s call. If you have a partner in merchant navy who you know will be gone for months, it only makes sense you keep a backup plan. Keep yourself busy. Catch up with friends.
Take up a hobby. Get a life that allows you to take you mind off things about a long distance relationship that you are struggling with. Do this and soon you will see the struggling decreasing. This would save you from a lot of complaining and negation when you talk with your partner.
8. Communicate as much as you can – Try Every Way Possible
And while you go and live your side of life you will find it much easier to communicate with your partner. But always remember to not miss any chance to do so. Being away especially in a job like merchant navy, missing out on lots of things can be a hurtful feeling. It’s important you talk as much as your work schedule allows you to so that you can stay in the loop and feel the closeness even in the distance.
9. Trust them – Don’t be of the Doubting Type
If there is one solid long distance relationship advice, it would be to always trust your partner. Keep your faith that things will work out, that they wish to work things out, that distance does not diminish love and that your partner always wants to have you around. Trust is the key that can make distance in a relationship seem insignificant, always. Have a positive approach towards your relationship and life.
10. Bring back lots of gifts
One other way to deal with such a relationship would be to not miss any opportunity to keep your partner happy. Never forget to bring back lots and lots of gifts. Think that’s insignificant? Try coming back home after six months on a ship without a single present and see the difference for yourself.
The point is not to show that being materialistic is the way of life, but it’s important that you show appreciation through something that your partner likes.
References: consciousloving, my-bellavita, my-bellavita